Worth The Wait
by carla-connor-corrie
Summary: I picked the wrong kind time after time but baby you're alright
1. Chapter 1

_Let's all pretend for the next few minutes that Robert Preston doesn't exist._

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My Nicky, 

Today. Today is everything, today is the hope, the tears, the sleepless nights, the smile, the kisses, today is everything. It's everything coming together. Mrs Carla Tilsley. 

The moonlight, the moonlight in which you held me in your embrace and told me it would be okay, told me to stop worrying. You convinced me to stop worrying because I believed you when you told me everything would be okay, I still believe those words today - I will always believe them. Your embrace found me again in moonlight, when I was doubting myself. Always doubting myself, never you. Oh God, never you. 

Your embrace is so warm, all the cold condenses away when you hold me. I feel warm, I feel warm and all the coldness is gone. You're my safety, my safety when everything else is going wrong on a huge scale. You're always there. Always.

We're so worth the wait, this day is so worth the wait. But, I'm glad we waited because now I'm more than ready. You're so gentle, so considerate, so wary and I love you for that. I love you for many things. 

I've picked the wrong kind over and over again. Today's about us, I know that. It's about the future, our future. But I think we should reflect, more me than you. Me and men, well it's never really gone very well. So many times I thought it was right - I thought Frank was right and I thought Peter was right and God, I thought me and Liam were forever. I knew Paul was wrong, I knew that I married him for the wrong reasons. I married him to escape. I chose the wrong men countless times for countless reasons but you, Nick, you're everything. You're right. 

You're right because even when the poison passed through my system time and time again, you were always there. When I couldn't talk because the red venom had over ruled me, when you had to carry me home because it'd weakened my legs. You're right because when I got myself in a state you would always be there, throughout the hangovers and the days of self-hate you'd never leave. If you were anyone else, well, you would've ran to the hills by now. But you're you, please don't ever change. 

You've helped me to see the light. It was as if I was banging my head against a brick wall constantly and you moved it. You moved it and let me step away from that. Away from everything that made me feel heavy and as if I was dragging - you make me feel light, you make me float. 

I had a feeling, when we first got together, I had a feeling we'd be dangerous. We'd fight, we wouldn't get on but I was so wrong. We fit, we fit perfectly. I suppose we are dangerous, in a good way. Danger can be good, can't it? What did Michelle call us that one time, 'Weatherfield's it couple,' I thought she was mad at the time but, Nick I got so lucky with you. So, so lucky. 

Our relationship is like a war, but I feel like we've won it, today we win the war. We were tested, my gambling, your Mum, my Dad, the burglary we were properly tested but, Nick, we stuck together. I promise I'll always stick with you. 

The canal. The day I was doubting everything, I was doubting myself. Johnny had made me feel so uneasy about my worth, about whether I could be your wife. I hate January and I hate walks but you gave me the chance to love both. We walked, we talked, we walked so more, I cried, you spoke and your words were poetic in the way they intoxicated me. Intoxicated me in a good way. 

Your eyes met mine that night and so many nights previous to that one and so many nights since then. They tell me everything I need to know, your words are precious and meaningful but, your eyes. Your eyes speak one thousand words – they speak all the emotions that are never verbalised. And in the moments are eyes meet, the moments are lips meet, in every moment we share I know, Nick I know, I would give away all I have. I'd be happy if it was just me and you. Nick and Carla Tilsley. No matter what comes my way in the future, I know you'll be there, we have each other and that's all that matters. You're all that will ever matter, really matter. No matter what comes my way I'll take it if it means I can be with you. 

At night, when you take me in your arms, when I pull the covers over to my side but it doesn't matter because most the time, all of the time in fact, we sleep on the same side. I'm in your arms and I'm secure and sleep falls over me so easily. When I'm with you nothing matters, I don't have to hide, I don't have to put on a front because I give you all I am, everything. 

Nick, you have the ability to make me laugh, really laugh even on the days were I want to hide away. My stomach hurts from the times you've made me laugh with your ways, your little sayings, the moments you get too engrossed in the show on the TV. When you missed the door handle because your eyes were fixated on me. Me. You chose me when you could have easily had anyone. 

I never want to live a day without you Tilsley, even when you forget your keys or you work late or you drag me to your family dinners. I never want to live a day without you and your love. 

You're reading this on the morning of our wedding. Our wedding. How crazy's that, ey? 

I love you. I really love you. 

I'd take a million bullets, babe. 

Love always, 

Carla xx

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 _I hope you enjoyed this and it was okay, please review and let me know if you want a letter from Nick to Carla_


	2. Carla,

_Let's all carrying on pretending Robert Preston doesn't exist.  
_

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 __Carla,

I told you I was certain that, despite all your flaws, you're the woman I'm going to marry. Today is the day, the day where we become complete. Together. 

I never thought you'd look at me, you were always the harsh business woman who I'd never got on with. You were hot headed (well you still are) and cold and rude. Most of the time, you're still all those things. But despite everything I thought, despite the fact I thought you'd never look at me, when our hands are laced together, it feels like it's meant to be. So when you think of the difficulties we've faced I want you to remember, we were meant to be. 

It all makes sense to me now. At first I was confused, I was confused when I first had feeling for you because it felt strange. Why would I have feelings for Carla Connor? But I fell for you, and at first that scared me, it scared me because I'd never had feelings like the ones I have for you. But now, when you're curled up beside me and I'm tracing patterns on your back, it all makes sense. When you're laughing at me for silly little things, it all makes sense. When you're holding me for comfort, it all makes sense. It makes sense because I love you. 

You never smile, okay well you do but nowhere near as much as you should. You put on your ice queen front and I wish you'd let go more, you should let go more. Your smile is so bright, so warm – your smile is everything. And now, now you've come through the darkness and I see your smile so much more it warms my heart. When I catch you smiling at the TV or when I see you smiling from across the room – it means everything to me. Our story hasn't been easy but it's not supposed to be – it would be boring if it was easy. Not a moment with you is boring, not even when you fall asleep because my movie choice is boring you. Our relationship has scars but every good story does; ours has many scars but they're healed, we healed them together. 

Everything with Johnny, the burglary, gaining my Mum's acceptance – all these things have just made us stronger because, Carla, we can come through anything if we're together. And watching you grow as a person, watching you fight your battles made me admire you more; the way you got through all these things is so admirable. I love you endlessly; even the things you don't like about yourself like when you tried to cut out carbs for 2016. Well, you didn't do very well with it but that doesn't matter because you're perfect to me. 

I want you to know that whatever happens in the future, I'm here. When you're in pain, emotionally or physically, I'll be here. When you can't sleep, I'll hold you until you drift off – I promise. We can stay up and talk for hours, I love it when we do that – I love when we talk about pointless things but also, when we talk about the future and feelings. I love just talking with you, I love just listening to you. When everyone seems to be against you, which I assure you they're not, I always be on your side as are a lot of people. When you make mistakes, I'll be there to help you fix them. Through everything, Carla, I'll be there for you. 

You never go to bed without having had a glass of wine, maybe that's where all the wine goes at work. You always use the same glass – the glass with the black detailing at the bottom. But your glasses have become smaller lately, smaller by the day and that makes me happy. Happy to see you can cope in different ways. Happy that you're letting other people help. The nights where I can't sleep or the nights you're already asleep when I get in and you mumble. I never know what you're saying, it never makes sense but you're in your own little world. Your own little world and I often wonder what happens in your head. Sometimes I'm dying to know, others I'm glad I don't know. 

Whatever happens, I'll always be there to try and protect you the best I can, I won't let you get in a place where you feel like drowning – I will always be your shelter. My love for you is true, it's pure and it's forever. 

You'll never love yourself as much as I love you and I wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wish I could help you see how beautiful, both inside and out, you are. 

I remember when we first got close, your fridge was always empty. When the fridge is empty the door shuts easily and you can keep everything inside with ease. Now, our fridge is pretty much full and some weeks it's harder to shut. It's harder to shut and it's harder to keep things inside. Carla, at first you shut away easily and never gave anything away – there wasn't much happiness or hope. But now, now you can see the happiness and the health and the hope and the love and you're harder to shut because you're fuller, you're full with all this happiness. 

I can't wait for our future, out future as Mr and Mrs Tilsley because I promise you, it's going to be full of love and happiness and candyfloss and kittens. Everything you could wish for. Everything we could wish for. 

You looked at me and I'm so glad you haven't looked back. I love you, I really love you and all your little things. 

I will always be your remedy. 

Love always, 

Tilsley (In a few hours I can call you that too - how crazy's that, ey?) 

xx

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 _I hope you enjoyed both of these letters although they were short. Thank you for all the reviews on Carla's letter they warm my heart x_


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